I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
