so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i just had sex bonerless
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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