Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize