Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I want to make a zoo with you.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
