would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
