just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
The adults are the big ones right?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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