I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
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I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
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That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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