im drinking this country out of the recession.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
