My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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