you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize