We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
