he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
