Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
the liver wants what the liver wants
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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