I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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