Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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