nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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