The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
