woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
