are you so shy because you have an std?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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