I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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