Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
