i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
