My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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