your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Two words: blizzard sex
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
