She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
