is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
