best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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