Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
