I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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