ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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