my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
