good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
