hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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