great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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