You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
