Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
