Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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