I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
