Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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