I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize