Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
