I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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