Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
