just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
