she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
