I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
