I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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