bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
