so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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