No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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