he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize