This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
