your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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