hotel room ftw
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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