we have pet lesbian snakes
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
