i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
