Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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