If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
