I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Terrible idea I love it
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