never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize