five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
im on a boat
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